» Forbidden Thoughts http://www.vireak.net Sun, 12 Jun 2011 05:27:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 Introducing a new alumni club. http://www.vireak.net/2011/06/11/introducing-new-alumni-club/ http://www.vireak.net/2011/06/11/introducing-new-alumni-club/#comments Sat, 11 Jun 2011 14:26:28 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/?p=259 The good thing about leaving school is that you can pretend  to care a little bit about the well-beings of your ex-school mates and friends by doing something useful such as forming an alumni club. I too pretend to care of beloved friends… how are they doing? have they found a job? or worse are they still virgin?

So I came up with this amazing idea of alumni club. Voilà , welcome to the club! Our activities are:

  1. Football this saturday, beer afterwards.
  10. More football this sunday, more beer too.

Now I know that’s not prestigious enough. Club & associations nowaday need to look or pretend to look high-class to improve the social status of its members. Just ask most khmers with a Lexus. Well then, shall we invite some Excellencies to join our football session too? We’re pretty sure the Excellencies would be more involved rather than bore themselves to the oblivion with hour-long speeches by some random unknowns like us.

Talking about invitation, we hope you don’t mind we cannot put up the invitation in the national newspaper like other prestigious clubs. We’re only used to caveman means of communications through the things called letter, email or phone. It’s a bit lame and cheapo, but hey you’ll get football and beer. What else can you ask for?

]]> http://www.vireak.net/2011/06/11/introducing-new-alumni-club/feed/ 1 An idiot guide to Khmer official speech! http://www.vireak.net/2011/01/05/an-idiot-guide-to-khmer-speech/ http://www.vireak.net/2011/01/05/an-idiot-guide-to-khmer-speech/#comments Wed, 05 Jan 2011 12:15:44 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/?p=269 Back in 2004, during an official ceremony, the organizer politely requested me to do a public translation of the guest of honor’s speech to then foreign guests joining the event. I politely refused. The foreign guests were left in the cold and bemused as to what the hell the guest of honors were talking about.

Hope that with this guide, those who cannot followed would have some ideas of what going on. Not to say it’s always correct, remember it’s just a guide.

  • First 10 mins: Salutation to each guest in the event, name by name completed with name title followed by cheers and clappings. (forgetting the name title may get the speaker fired)
  • 10-30mins: Nice complimentary speech on the speaker boss, upper boss, big boss, all the bosses up the heirachy followed by cheers and clappings. (in related news, the TV seems to broadcast only this part)
  • 30-50mins: History lessons and reminders of the past between 1975 till now followed by cheers and clappings.
  • 50-55mins: Summary of the acheivements of the speaker’s team followed by cheers and clappings.
  • 55-70mins: Classic text-book pledges for the better future followed by cheers and clappings.
  • 70-80mins: Nice complimentary speech on the speaker boss, upper boss, big boss, all the bosses up the heirachy followed by cheers and clappings. (I’m wrong, the TV loves this part too)
  • 80-90mins: Thanks to each guest in the event, name by name completed with name title followed by cheers and clappings. (forgetting the name title may get the speaker fired)
]]> http://www.vireak.net/2011/01/05/an-idiot-guide-to-khmer-speech/feed/ 1 Khmer are patient. not? http://www.vireak.net/2009/02/21/khmer-are-patient-not/ http://www.vireak.net/2009/02/21/khmer-are-patient-not/#comments Sat, 21 Feb 2009 11:39:29 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2009/02/21/khmer-are-patient-not/ They say Khmer are generally quiet quite patient, in a way that we tend to accept whatever given or forced on us. But the common wisdom is that if you’re good at something, you’re bad at something else, or in this case, if you gain something, you miss on something else.

Khmer are patient, good thing or bad thing? Let see!

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patience-on-bus.gif

Told you already, Khmer are awesomely patient!

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And more patient!

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*Dilbert Comics by Scott Adams

]]> http://www.vireak.net/2009/02/21/khmer-are-patient-not/feed/ 7 An idiot guide to Cambodian Media & Entertainment http://www.vireak.net/2008/12/14/an-idiot-guide-to-cambodian-media-entertainment/ http://www.vireak.net/2008/12/14/an-idiot-guide-to-cambodian-media-entertainment/#comments Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:54:43 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2008/12/14/an-idiot-guide-to-cambodian-media-entertainment/ Ever wonder why the media & entertainment are the two most popular pastimes in Cambodia rather than…say sports or gaming? This guide will show you the awesomeness of media & entertainment in Cambodian popular culture, a handy guide for everyone.

1. Welcome to “Koh Aksontesok” daily news, Cambodia’s most read newspaper. Today’s headlines are:

  • “Traffic accident at Kbal Thnol causing minor injuries and major jam”
  • “Fake rape story causes national outcry”
  • “Superstitious witch craft blamed for latest series of traffic accidents”

2. Welcome to “See Ot Ot” TV, Cambodia’s biggest Television network. Today’s show is:

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3. Welcome to “Hear Ot Ot” radio, Cambodia’s most popular radio show. The first song of the day titled “Crying girls and heart-broken guys”, requested by the Man Who Lacks Heart, is going out to:

Ms. Ni (thomthom), Ms. Na (bigbig), Ms. Né (phone star in poipet) , Mr. Nonaké, Mr. Eyké, Mr. Sondouy, Mr. Hearbroken (fellow man who lacks heart), Mr. Keke (fish vendor at Tonlé sap), Mr. Ko (hunter in Ratankiri) ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………. ………………………………. 10 minutes later ………………………………………….. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………. bang nis, bang nus, bang nak, bang nok, bang nao, bang nong, à jak, à jem, à jok, à jom, à lom, à la, and all listeners to this program as well as all 14 million fellow khmers at home and abroad”

This song is coming right up, but first let’s meet our sponsor:

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[..after the break...] Due to time constraint, we’re able to play only 30 seconds of the song. Let’s welcome our next program “Phone-in Karaoke”.

4. Welcome to “Roeung Ké Té”, Cambodia’s most subscribed magazine. Biggest story of this issue is:

Mr. Z, a rich man, is married to Mrs. Y. A well-known actress is rumored to be having something on with Mr. Z. Guess what will happen next? Fantastic prizes to be won!

5. Welcome to “Proleung” cinema, Cambodia’s most popular theater and cineplex. Today’s program is:

  • 16:00 – 18:00 : An affair with her spirit! (a horror movie based on true story)
  • 18:00 – 20:00 : Spirit awaken! (a horror story based on true movie)
  • 20:00 – 22:00 : Mirror girl! (a true movie based on horror story)

6. Welcome to “Ha ha ha”, Cambodia’s most popular comedy show. Today’s show is:

**** ****  ******** **** ******** ******** **** **** **** ******** **** ******** ******** **** ******** **** **** ******** **** **** ************ ******** **** **** **** **** ******** ******** **** **** ******** ****

*Content could not be displayed due to extreme uses of profanity, drugs and mature references.

]]> http://www.vireak.net/2008/12/14/an-idiot-guide-to-cambodian-media-entertainment/feed/ 12 Out of place! Out of touch! http://www.vireak.net/2008/07/05/out-of-place-out-of-touch/ http://www.vireak.net/2008/07/05/out-of-place-out-of-touch/#comments Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:20:36 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2008/07/05/out-of-place-out-of-touch/ Went back home recently, and one of the things I got back from Cambodia was the confirmation of the theory on how out of place and out of touch I was with the so-called youth generation.

1. Music: music are hard to appreciate these days let alone listen to. CCNP (copy, cut n paste) perhaps sums up the music scene nicely. To spice things up a bit, add some half-Khmer-half-English to the mix. If there is one thing original about it, it must be that almost all of the songs are either about “crying girls” or “heart-broken guys“.  Didn’t know that the youth generation were this kinda sad.

2. Movies: people are scared of ghosts, but people love scary movies. Ghost movies are in every cinemas at almost every slots, ghost stories are everywhere, ghosts are behind you while you’re reading this, by the way.

3. Arts: When was the last time you befriended with someone so inspirational or just have some tastes in arts? Don’t remember anyone though…

4. Social life: Facebook, MySpace, Hi5, Blogger. Oh wait, they don’t call Blogger, they call Cloggers. C stands for Cool, Calm and Collected Cambodia, I guess. Whatever…

5. Football: people with a good taste in football are rare these days, the rest either call themselves ManU fans or are simply clueless about football.

6. Public behavior: 3 guys meet up in public. One guy pulls out something black resembling a brick. No! it’s his new Nokia N series. Not to be outcooled, the other guy starts showing off his new crying-girl and heart-broken-guy songs in his latest iThis, iThat, iWhatever-whatever. The third guy cannot hear a thing. How can he? when his music headset is bigger than his a**.

7. Names: his name is James. Right, his name is James. Back in his hometown, they call him “Ah Sampoch”. James, my a**.

8. Hobbies: “Let’s have a party! Can someone bring the cards?”. What the hell, can’t we even have a party for once without the petty gambling? No we can’t. I’m sure without playing cards, someone might go crazy of gambling starvation.

Thankfully though the world is created so that everyone has a place (to hide). The things I see as lame may be the coolest things to those on the other side of the spectrum. Wait, I should be careful of giving opinions these days, who know such thing could cause oil price to hit record high. Don’t blame me if tomorrow headline reads “Oil Price Hits Record High after someone from somewhere making some random remarks”.

Oh well, whatever…back to something more entertaining.

]]> http://www.vireak.net/2008/07/05/out-of-place-out-of-touch/feed/ 15 Please tell me the truth! http://www.vireak.net/2008/03/23/please-tell-me-the-truth/ http://www.vireak.net/2008/03/23/please-tell-me-the-truth/#comments Sun, 23 Mar 2008 07:00:40 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2008/03/23/please-tell-me-the-truth/ On my very first visit to a country of whatever-whatever, a hontojii-san immigrant official stopped me by and asked:

Hontojii-san: Please tell me the truth!

Reak: My name is Vireak and I come from Cambodia.

Hontojii-san: Please tell me the truth!

Reak: I don’t have beard, so I’m neither from Pakistan nor India.

Hontojii-san: Please tell me the truth!

Reak: My name has no letter “Q”, so I’m not linked to IraQ and Al Qaeda, neither was I born in Suadi Arabia.

Hontojii-san: Please tell me the truth!

Reak: Your president Bush praised me for my role in his global war against terrorism when he visited my home last year.

Hontojii-san: Bush? Never heard of that guy!

Reak: Are you sure? Please tell me the truth!

Hontojii-san: I told you. I don’t lie.

Reak: Please tell me the truth!

Hontojii-san: You can search me inside or hang me to dry!

Reak: Please tell me the truth!

Hontojii-san: I’ve got nothing to hide.

Reak: Please tell me the truth!

Hontojii-san: Oh my!

Reak: Please tell me the truth!

Hontojii-san: You must be a spy!

Reak: Please tell me the truth!

Hontojii-san: You must be a hontojii-san in disguise!

]]> http://www.vireak.net/2008/03/23/please-tell-me-the-truth/feed/ 8 Do men have easier jobs? http://www.vireak.net/2007/12/02/men-have-easier-jobs/ http://www.vireak.net/2007/12/02/men-have-easier-jobs/#comments Sun, 02 Dec 2007 13:33:44 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2007/12/02/men-have-easier-jobs/ grow-rice.jpg
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]]> http://www.vireak.net/2007/12/02/men-have-easier-jobs/feed/ 8 “Gene!” Guys! Don’t forget this word! http://www.vireak.net/2007/08/06/gene-guys-dont-forget-this-word/ http://www.vireak.net/2007/08/06/gene-guys-dont-forget-this-word/#comments Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:14:08 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2007/08/06/gene-guys-dont-forget-this-word/ What factors come to your mind when it comes to decision to have family? Well, let see. I got to meet an old high school classmate a couple of months ago. She became somewhat of a mature lady. Well girls do get mature quiet quite fast at these ages. We were talking about old friends and high school classmates, many of whom went on to get married and make babies and many of whom were planning to, when unexpectedly she came up with this advice that I find probably worthy of sharing. She said:

Vireak, if you are to make a decision about a wife (oh no! not again), you must also consider the gene. Think about the offsprings….you would want them to be smart, right?

“Gene, Vireak, Gene is the key word“…..Alright alright, what did I say?….what did Vireak say:

Err…by the way….hmm…..i’m…..(cough)…just….(cough)….22!

See! It’s never been easier to be a guy….on top of that, you’ll have also have to consider this, this and this. Headache, no?

]]> http://www.vireak.net/2007/08/06/gene-guys-dont-forget-this-word/feed/ 15 My first…err…love…err…story! http://www.vireak.net/2007/06/16/my-firsterrloveerrstory/ http://www.vireak.net/2007/06/16/my-firsterrloveerrstory/#comments Sat, 16 Jun 2007 12:05:22 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2007/06/16/my-firsterrloveerrstory/ Operation Heart Hunter is a soap drama about a young man determined to find his love back in his town using only his head - no money – no problem. How is he going do it?

The story itself is in the form of episodic series. Episode 1 and 2 are already out. Here are list so far:

1. Operation Heart Hunter: premiered on 26 May

2. Invasion of Snake: premiering today 16 June

Characters

Here is the list of the known characters so far:

1. Vireak a.k.a Snake: the main character of the series. A fine young man on a mission.

2. Major LopLop: a mysterious man supporting Snake. Little is known about him up until now.

3. Vonn: a 12th grade 10 January High School girl in Siem Reap. Young, beautiful and bright student.

4. Rinn: a close friend and classmate of Vonn. A stupid and cheerful girl as what her friends call her.

5. Sopat: a guy friend of Vonn and Rinn. Another bright student of the school along with Vonn.

]]> http://www.vireak.net/2007/06/16/my-firsterrloveerrstory/feed/ 2 Invasion of Snake! http://www.vireak.net/2007/06/16/invasion-of-snake/ http://www.vireak.net/2007/06/16/invasion-of-snake/#comments Sat, 16 Jun 2007 11:37:08 +0000 reak http://www.vireak.net/2007/06/16/invasion-of-snake/ The following story is a sequel episode to Operation Heart Hunter. If you haven’t read the previous episode, please do so here.

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I was standing there looking at an old playground; seemingly lost in the heat of the day. A girl approached me from behind and asked ‘Who are you? what are you doing in my school?‘. I turned around to a young lady with bright eyes and long black hair. ‘If you’re not a student here, please leave!‘ she continued. But before I could response, heavy drops of rain started pouring down. ‘Come here‘ she said as we ran for cover. Two friends – another girl and a guy were also at the cover.

‘Vonn, what is that weird-looking japanese doing here?’ a friend asked.
‘Rinn, stupid girl. He’s khmer. Can’t you even see?’
‘Oh hehe! hey, you what you doing here, 10 January high school is strict you know? you can’t just come in and see see’ srey Rinn asked.
‘I shall leave when the rain stops.’ I responsed.
‘Alright!’

The rain continued heavily and showed no signs of abatting as the four were stuck in school cover. A frog was jumping up and down in front of us. Something interesting was going to happen! ‘Let’s play a game!‘ Rinn asked. ‘What is it?‘ the guy friend was curious. ‘Simple! see the frog over there? Who ever makes it jump the longest wins!‘

‘Four of us – me, Vonn, Rinn, Sopat and you. Hey, we haven’t got your name yet.’
‘Vireak, my name is vireak!’
‘Alright, listen! The loser must buy the winner an ice cream, ok?’
I’d be rude if I turned down the challenge, so I accepted knowing that I only got 1 in 4 chance of losing.

Snake VS Frog!

Vonn started first. She pushed the back of the frog with her finger. How long did it jump? ’11cm’. Sopat next. He used his toe to push the back of the frog. ’9cm’…Rinn did the same as Vonn, but she only got guess-what 8cm. Finally, my turn. What did I do? I caught an insect and placed it around 15 centimeter in front of the frog. The frog saw it jumped with joy and as hard as it could…..13cm. Yeah! Rinn was obviously in disillusion as to why she lost. Why she lost? Simple! Snake VS Frog! There could only be one winner!

to be continued…

next episode: First date!

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